We’ve all been there, you finally find someone and then POOF! something changes.
You’re calling, texting and stalking his social media pages and all you get are half way replies. He barely calls you back and he’s stopped responding to you altogether on social media. You start doing drive byes just to see if he’s home. You call up your girl and she says those dreadful words that no girl wants to hear, He’s Just Not That Into You.
You’re left wondering, why not. All of a sudden those 6 little words cause your emotions to erupt and you suddenly turn into Angela Basset from Waiting to Exhale in her famous scene no one can forget.
So what is it? Why is it that, as single women, we keep choosing the wrong guys. Is it because we desire the one so bad that we ignore the signs?
During my last “He’s not that Into You Moment” I stopped crying long enough to analyze the situation. Here’s what I noticed:
- Communication! You go from talking daily: by phone, by text, sending each other cute messages on social media to a few texts per day, a couple phone calls per week and social media basically becomes non-existent. I didn’t see it then but all the “I’m sleepy’s”, “I’m busy”, “Oh, I didn’t hear my phone” was actually his way of saying I’ve moved on. These type of guys usually try to avoid contact with you so that they don’t have to have that dreadful conversation.
- Commitment! Now you would think it would be easy to spot the ones with commitment issues but oh no, for some reason we think we will be the exception. I can remember this one guy I would talk to and he would always tell me that he wanted to get married… eventually. Whenever I would talk about commitment and being in a relationship, he would always bring up his past relationships and how they went wrong and now he’s taking his time. Key word: I’m unavailable, however as women we see that as a green light to continue to pursue. Listen ladies, if it’s one thing I’ve learned, is that men know exactly what they want and when they want it. So no matter how many cookies you bake, or how many times you have naked sleeps overs, you won’t change him. Move on!
- Friend Zone! Now Ladies, I know this is what we usually do to men when we aren’t interested, but did you know they do the same thing to us? I know, how dare they. These type of guys always look at you as one of the guys. You talk on the phone, you hang out but he never really fixes himself up and he ask for advice about other girls he’s interested in. He flirts with other girls in your presence and overly uses the word friend with you. Do not fall for him! He’s not interested in you in that way. He thinks you’re a great friend, he appreciates your honesty and your willingness to be the wing man but he does not look at you as anything more. Don’t get caught up because when you’re falling for this type of man, you neglect to see the men who are really trying to pursue you.
Biggest RED flag: He doesn’t ask you out and he doesn’t take an interest in you or anything you do.
Ladies, you don’t want a man that’s not into you, not when God has created someone just for you. Falling for these types of guys will only delay your happiness.
Looking back, what were signs in your past relationship(s) that shows he wasn’t interested?
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