Girlfriend’s Guide to Marriage: 5 GREAT Lessons

Girlfriendsguide (1).pngThat weekend when you think it’s going to be just the girls. On a ski slope, looking fierce, laughing and chatting over a cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows. That was the weekend I was looking forward to but God had other plans.

We arrived late and upon check in one of my friends ran into another friend she knew.  They chit chatted and the next thing I knew we were being invited back to her cabin for dinner.

When we arrived we quickly found out that they were having their very own “Why Did I get Married” weekend. It was 4 couples ranging from newly weds to 10 years of marriage. I thought to myself how ironic is that I ran into a bunch of married couples the weekend I was to be fasting for my future marriage.

If you don’t think God has a sense of humor, then you don’t know the God I serve.

On the first night we all had dinner and conversation, it was so fun.

From the men giving their advice to us singles and from the women giving their advice. I was literally like a sponge, soaking it all up.

Lesson 1

Marriage is selfless.

I know. I know. That may be a hard pill to swallow, considering how before we get married all we can think about is ourselves.

Marriage isn’t for the inconsiderate. It isn’t for the selfish. Marriage is about serving. You must serve one another DAILY. You must serve one another even when you don’t feel like it.

So before you head down that isle, make sure that you are ready to SERVE.

Even Jesus replied, “I didn’t come to be served, but to serve.” Serving is an admiral job- it’s the least likely to be chosen but if you both have a servants heart then you will have the one thing that will make your marriage last.

Lesson 2

Marriage is for the long haul.

Why is that we always look to these celebrities as a poster for how marriage should be. They have these lavish weddings and then next thing you know, TMZ  reports that so and so filed for divorce citing “irreconcilable differences”. What is that?!

Isn’t marriage suppose to be forever?

One of the women at the cabin that weekend said how her marriage had a few ups and down. She said they couldn’t agree on the simplest of things and some how it would always turn into a huge argument. She said they didn’t know what to do but she knew divorce was not an option.

She said to “take divorce out the equation” all together. She explained that you will be tested on the vows you spoke on your wedding day and your vows said to death do us part.

I mean think about Christ marriage with the church, now we don’t always do what we’re supposed to do, so imagine if God said that’s it, I’m filing for divorce? Where would we would? YIKES! I would hate to even imagine that. God said no, I’m in this for the long haul, for eternity and even then after. Divorce is not an option, I took the vows and it said “For better or for worse”.

Lesson 3

Your spouse is not your enemy.

Your spouse is a gift from God. In all your imperfections and in all your spouse imperfections, you have to know who your true enemy is. When you wage war, allow your spouse to fight with you instead of fighting against them.

I can even recall a  conference I went to and the speaker said, do you know who your real enemy is? She said look, nobody goes into marriage thinking that they will do this or that, she says we enter into marriage with true intentions of being the best we can be for our spouse but life happens. And as life happens, you can’t forget who your true enemy is.

So instead of fighting with your spouse, take it to God in prayer.

Lesson 4

A couple who prays together, stays together.

Let prayer be your foundation. When you don’t know what else to do, take it to God.

Couples face a lot of big decisions and you won’t always know what to do, however we are connected to someone who knows all things.

A lot of married couples I know, have said that prayer has saved their marriages. It helped strengthen their marriage and even created a stronger unity between them.

I can remember one of the guys saying that you should make time to pray with your spouse daily. He said that’s the best thing he ever did for his marriage. He says praying with his wife, is the best part of his day. Having her pray for him and him praying for her really empowered their marriage and even strengthen their relationship with Christ.

Lesson 5

Honor your spouse.

When you honor your spouse, it means you value your spouse.

You should view your spouse as a priceless treasure. When you honor your spouse, you give them confidence. You can honor your spouse by making sure they are number 1 over your job, your friends and your hobbies. Honor your spouse by respecting them and their feelings.

The Lord speaks a great deal in the bible about honor, so you know it must means a lot to Him.

Honor your spouse above all else and your marriage is sure to last.

I know as singles, we are often in a rush to get married but the one thing I am enjoying about this season of my life is the freedom I have to equip myself with the tools needed for my marriage.

God knows the desires of my heart so I will let Him take care of that.




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