The moment God placed a desire in my heart to get married, I started preparing myself. Cleaning up my credit, saving money, learning new recipes, counseling, seeking deliverance, and I even began taking courses offered at church on becoming a wife.
I remember one course I took talked about becoming a gracious wife. Here’s some of what I learned:
Habits of a GRACIOUS wife:
- Keep Jesus at the center. Read the word. Abide in Him. He is the source of grace and because we know this, we should be consistent in pursuing our relationship with him. The more we stay attach to him, the more we stay attached to grace. (John 15:4)
- Instead of complaining about your husband, take all your frustrations and concerns to the Lord. You can’t be a gracious wife, if you’re going to stomp around and fuss and yell all the time. You will need to learn how to harness your emotions and bring them under subjection. Once you have gone to the Lord and spent time with Him, he will give you strategy on how to deal with your concerns.
- Focus on your husbands strength rather than his weaknesses. Focusing on your husband weaknesses can lead you down a trail that will not be good for your marriage. A gracious woman can always find something positive about someone. (Ephesians 4:29)
- Focus on your own sin. It’s easy to point out something about someone else but when it comes to yourself, not so much. But if you spend more time looking inward, you’ll spend less time blaming your husband for any of his mistakes. I mean the bible does tell us to get the speck out of own eye, and it doesn’t tell us to do that for nothing. (Matthew 7:5)
- Build relationships with other gracious wives. As a wife, you don’t want to be around other women (wives or not) that bash men all the time. You need to surround yourself with wives that love being wives and love their husbands and understand marriage. Pursue relationships with women who also desire to be gracious wives. These women will be able to hold you accountable.
After taking this course, I understood that it was much I needed to do to prepare myself for marriage. I quickly learned that desiring to be married was much more than just sitting around waiting, and idolizing it.
I remember hearing someone explain the scripture “He who finds a good wife obtains favor from God”, like this: you don’t become a wife when a man finds you, you are already a wife when he finds you because the scripture says “He who finds a wife…”
So that should let you know that being single isn’t suppose to be wasted season, it’s meant to prepare you for the next.
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