So what do you do when you don’t know what to do?
Pray. That’s usually the answer everyone gives. As cliche’ as it is, it is usually what always works. BUT What about when you feel so far away from God that you are not even certain He is still listening?
Yeah, that’s where I’m at. I’m having one those God, are you there, it’s me Margaret moments.
I’m really trying to not to lose hope. Holding real tight to what’s left of it and even that feels like it’s slipping away. Something like how sand trickles through your fingers at the beach.
So I’m sorry, I can’t answer that question for you because I don’t know what to do when you don’t know what to do. I’m trying to figure it out myself.
Honestly, I want to rip my heart out and hold it up to God and say this is what I have to say… because I can’t find any words to speak on my own. It’s just so much going on inside of my heart. Life is hitting me in a major way. Over and over, it just keeps hitting me. I’m trying real hard to stand and not buckle… but I fear there’s only one outcome: a breakdown.
And yes, before you say it, I know this is just a season, a time in my life that will soon be over and I’ll be on to better days. But if I were to be real honest with you, well this may sound just be a tad bit crazy- as much as I want it to be over, that’s how much more I want to stay in this season to learn whatever lesson it’s trying to teach me. I want this to my last time around this mountain. I’m tired of the scenery.
Well maybe that’s it… when you don’t know what to do, stay the course and see it to the end. Regardless of the darkness that surrounds you, there’s no light, no beacon of hope within sight, still stay the course. I mean it can only last for so long right? And just what if God is trying to tell us,
I Am the light and yes I will always be here for you but I want to use this season to help you find the light inside of you.
That has to be it. For the word tell us,
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.
John 1:5 (NLT)
So let me encourage us before I let you go:
Whatever you’re facing, whatever you’re going through- it’s no match for the light that’s on the inside of you. The light may be dim but it’s not extinguish, darkness can never do that. It doesn’t have that much power. You’re going to make it.
Lord, right now the darkness that surrounds me is trying to overtake me.
There’s no light in sight, But I know you have a promise for those who hold on
I don’t know how I will make it through But I do know who I belong to And I know you will not allow me to enter into the wilderness with no plans to bring me out….
So I yield myself to your plans for my life in this season, and I will trust you in spite of what it looks like right now.
Even when I’m drowning in my doubts, I will continue to look towards the sky beyond the clouds; there is where I will find you, watching over me.
So I thank you for taking extra good care of me through this season, I know I don’t have to be afraid because you are with me. I won’t stop, I won’t give up… the hope I have will light the road and uncover the path to the promise that awaits me.
Let’s go. I’ll see you on the other side of this season. I’ll be waiting to hear your testimony.
Here’s a sing that I found on a movie I watched and have been listening to it every since. It encourages me, I hope it encourages you.