I’ve been celibate going on 7 years.
My decision to wait, came after 5 abortions, 7 different sexual partners including the father of my child, with whom I was in relationship with for 10 years. It wasn’t a hard decision, I just stopped.
I can remember during that time in my life, I thought of sex as a high. It was my drug of choice. And if I couldn’t have actual sex, I would masturbate. I would watch porn. I did what I needed to do to feel that climatic feeling. I was blind to the enemy’s tactics and I was an open field for the enemy to play in.
I can remember during this time in my life, I was dealing with the death of my mother, I had also ended my 10-year relationship. No way did I want to deal with what. He was the only man I had ever been with but when other men after them started showing me attention and feeding my insecurities, I easily gave it up. So, instead of dealing with these situations, I used sex, what I knew always made me feel good as a coping mechanism. Which I find most of us do. Sex is rarely just about having sex. There is almost always an underlying fact on why we engage in premarital sex. Whether it be to fit in, whether be to cling to a relationship or the lack of love we have for ourselves and the lack of knowledge we have of the love the Father has for us.
It wasn’t until I stop using sex that I found out how to make good, sound decisions. The haze had cleared and my judgment was unclouded. I was soberly deciding to deal with the wounds of my heart and pick up the pieces of my life. Which in some ways, I’m still working on today.
Many people I encounter think waiting is punishment. I actually find it quite rewarding. Choosing to wait, actually keeps me from wasting time in purposeless relationships and most importantly, it’s a way for me to honor Jesus’s sacrifice for me.
When you are in Christ, you are no longer a slave to your feelings and emotions. When you make the decision to abstain from sex, you can really do it.
Is choosing to wait EASY. No! but I can tell you through experience, it’s worth it. I’ve dodged so many bad relationships bullets.
My hope is that through my transparency, that you can find your true value. For God said, you worth is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10) and whether you choose to believe it or not, you are precious to God. I want women (and men too) to know that YOU ARE WORTH THE WAIT.
It’s not to late to realize your worth and demand that others see it too. You can start your own story of “the wait” today, right now. It’s sure to be a story of courage and bravery.
I can’t wait to hear your story. Tag your stories with #TheUnpopularMovement for a chance to be featured on Crowned, LLC.