Is this thing on? Hello? Can you hear me?
I know, I know it’s been a long time since I’ve posted and trust me I’ve been very busy. I can’t wait to share all that has happened to me this year, next year.
BUT… I almost didn’t make it. Let me tell you how it happened.
So it all started the end of last year when there was this department wide investigation on the powers that be in our department. It was such a big deal that the Executive of the business had to reach out to us and apologize. Well once it was all said and done, the old powers that be were out and the new powers that be were ushered in. No problem, right?
The new powers that be sold us a dream because 6 months later the same stuff that was happening before was happening again but in a different way. I was fed up. So I started speaking up.
Let me just take it back a moment, I’m a BLACK WOMAN working in corporate America. Got it? Fast forward.
It started out nicely but the more and more I caught them in lies and doing underhanded stuff, I just couldn’t sit there and take it. So one day when one of my colleagues, (a professional snitch if you ask me) who is doing everything in their power to be somebody of importance, in the department came around asking me, well the team really, to update some information on our cases, I replied with a “I ain’t doing that shit” (excuse my language but that’s what I said, remember I told you I was fed up). He looked at me half way astonished half way annoyed, not sure why because people knew me for speaking my mind, and asked, if that was the information he wanted me to report back to the leadership team. I said sure (insert his name), tell them, in a nonchalant voice.
Pause. Let me provide some more background information. This guy, before I knew he was a professional snitch, and I would joke all the time, say all types of stuff to each other. I never would tell on him and I thought he would never tell on me. I thought wrong.
I left to go on vacation and came back and was pulled up in the office with my manager and her manager. When they told me why I was being pulled up, you could have brought me for a penny. I went off. Read them their rights basically and even read the rights of some people who wasn’t in attendance. They started a whole investigation and was ready to fire to me. I was heated to say the least.
I got off work and called up my sister in Christ and she was like, “Now Kay, why did you say that?” Uh I said it because I didn’t think the fool would really go back and tell. She continued to bring me back to my natural state by saying stuff like, “You know you’re not suppose to allow those people to infect you, you’re suppose to affect them, You’re in control of your responses, You know you need this job.” Now while she was accurate, was it what I wanted to hear? No, not at all. She crushed my dreams of being a young Rosa Parks or a no mess Olivia Pope. However, I knew I had to humble myself.
So I went to work the next day and pulled up with my manager’s manager (side note: this man has known me for years) and I said you know what, after I spoke with you yesterday, I went home and called my sister in Christ and she pretty much checked me and told me I was acting out of character and I should never allow anything or anyone get me out of character, so I apologize for my attitude and behavior these past couple of months. Yes there are some things going on here that I don’t necessarily agree with but that’s still no excuse for the way I have been acting, I am better than that and I will prove it to myself and to everyone else. We talked and he said he was happy to see this Kay back.
So a month (we’re almost at two months now) goes by and I hear nothing from the investigation. I have a new manager, I’ve been on my best behavior, I’ve been watching my attitude, and just being me but on level 2 instead of level 11. So I asked my manager in a meeting was I going to be fired because I hadn’t heard anything as of yet. So she goes, funny you should ask, we were just talking about it. Long story short with that conversation, she said they wanted to fire me but decided against it because they seen a change in my attitude and I had some people advocating on my behalf.
I was like so these people really wanted to fire me hunh, never mind at this point the professional snitch had snitched on two more people. Uh, guys hello, do you not see a pattern here. Oh and let me just say this, the other two people were black women. Now take that check to the bank and cash it. I just couldn’t believe they would attempt to fire me over something so trivial. However I learned, that men, do not want black women who oppose them to do so publicly. They understand something that very few of us have yet learned about ourselves, and that is the fact that our influence is POWERFUL.
Black women could do some amazing things when they band together, that’s why they want to silence us, they want us to be so pain ridden that we can’t even speak up. They want us to be scared of losing a corporate job, that they will threaten to take it away in order to shut us up.
Well I’m giving myself 6-8 months to move on up out of this world, because I do not want to stay in a place that does not value my opinion nor my feelings. I wasn’t acting out of emotion to simply do it, I was acting out of emotions because I have a passion to see justice served, and to ensure that underhanded things be brought to the light and dealt with appropriately.
I won’t shut up for anyone, it’s not in my nature to just stand by while things are happening that I have the opportunity to change or influence. However, I will simply change my approach, because I did learn this one thing, no one can tell when a cheetah is approaching, they see them when it’s too late.