It was July 4, 2019, when I was deflowered for the second time, ending my 8 years of abstinence.
I know what you’re thinking,
how could she she's a christian wasn't she teaching about purity she's a hyprocrite
Trust me, I’ve had those same thoughts about myself, so I am not mad at you. However, I want you to hold off on judging me. I may have fallen off the plan but I haven’t fallen out of God’s grace.
I wanted to tell you this because again, I wanted to be transparent about where I am in my journey. I don’t want to hide the so called “bad or ugly” things. I want to be open about everything going on.
When I started dating, I just knew it was going to be easy. I knew it would be this christian love story I keep seeing all over social media: you meet a man, by day 60 you’re engaged, by day 90 you’re married, then you’re off to have sex all you want. But I quickly learned that isn’t how it works at all. For some, yes, and if that’s you, kudos to you. However, that isn’t my story.
I can just remember saying to myself, this is going to be hard because I like this man. I want to share everything with him. So I talked about it with my friends. They were shocked that it had even crossed my mind. They asked a ton of questions. However, ultimately it was up to me. 90 days, I said. Let me see where we are at 90 days and then I’ll make a decision.
July 4, 2019, no where near the 90 days, it happened. A born again virgin no more, the church girl in me had just went wild. I couldn’t believe it myself. But things happened and I don’t regret it. Now I will say, I did worry if it was just a sex thing for him, or if we would still be dating after. I also worried about what it would look like to others when the word got out. Even now as I write these words, I still worry. But I’ve resolved in myself that God still loves me and this is my journey. It may not be as spotless as others but it’s mine and I will walk it out until the finish line.
So there, the secret is out.
I’m a christian having sex.
P.S No I am not telling you to have sex outside of marriage, I am simply sharing my experience.